Eva Natasha

2012-01-04T21:57:00.000-08:00

You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves

your arms too full to embrace the present.

~ Jan Glidewell ~

2011-12-08T00:55:00.001-08:00

turn over new leaf

2011-12-06T20:59:00.000-08:00

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and
make a new ending - Maria Robinson

Someone wise once said that life can either be accepted or changed. If it is not accepted, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted. Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever. So...today let's talk about turning over a new leaf. Basically, we begin living like everyone else but with standards of our own. Work,study, love,etc- living live the way you wanted. I believe that nobody is forced to do something / anything - the actions taken by them are something decided by them. The choices are always ours to make. God gave us brains for a purpose. So, excuses like wrong upbringing and friend's influence for making wrong choices in life are secondary. Realization about making worthy the life granted by God comes in different stages of life. Some may not bother at all. But what ever it is, nobody can be a saint overnight and nobody expects them to be either. The important thing is we know what we really want and we've decided what to do with our life. It may effect the lifestyle, the people @ friends around and other factors in your life. Being prepared may not be essential but learning to adapt to the changes and taking things one at a time will surely help. For some it might even mean losing friends or dear ones. We must understand that turning over a new leaf does not mean drastic changes but rather learning, adapting and transforming into being someone better. Success may not be assured. It is all in your choice, faith and purpose. For every decision we make, we are accountable. Just be who you are and try to live the life worthy of your calling. Be completely humble and make efforts. Alls well ends well.

Be Blessed.

Sincerely Yours...

2011-11-10T21:55:00.000-08:00

Sincerity is an openness of heart; we find it in very few people; what we usually see is only an artful dissimulation to win the confidence of others.

LA ROCHEFOUCAULD, Reflections

Being a fanatic fan of korean serials, I was watching '49 days' recently and it led me to write about this topic. In short, the serial was about a soul seeking 3 drops of pure tear from three people who truly love her apart from her family within 49 days. She initially thinks that it will be an easy task since she has many loving friends around her, alas hurtfully she realizes it is not as easy as it seems. So...I started wondering..in life are we ever sincere to ourselves or others ? When are we sincere ?

Anton Chehkov once wrote there should be more sincerity and heart in human relations, more silence and simplicity in our interactions. Wise words indeed. How true ! Sincerity is generally understood to be truth in one's word and actiont.By ‘sincere’ we understand that a person acts according to his/her conscience. There is a test for sincerity and its level of attainments. One who has achieved mental sincerity will not complain about anything. One who has achieved sincerity at the physical level will not meet with failures of any kind in his work.

Rather than being sincere many habitually protect themselves by presenting a mask to the world instead of their true selves. They feel compelled to adopt some carefully constructed persona in place of expressing their real heart, even with their closest friends and intimates. Why? Are we ever sincere in any relationship ? It still troubles me to find that many will answer no - which led me to the next question...why is hard ?

If you can't be sincere to the one you love or your friend...why be in that relationship first of all ? Just putting up a fake connotation with another person does not only hurt them but you as well. If you can't tolerate or don't like to be with a person...wouldn't it be better that you be sincere and accept the fact. Reasons like white lies and taking care of ones' feeling is merely lame excuses to escape. Why torture others and yourself in the process ? It'd be easier to just to be true. But then again..the choice is not mine to make...each individuals decides what is good for them. Hence...the choice is theirs to make.

Be rude when you’re angry, laugh when something is funny, and answer when you’re asked.

-Chekhov

a quote i love

2011-09-09T01:25:00.001-07:00

2011-08-25T18:09:00.000-07:00

September is a month i dun fancy anymore..just too many heartache & bad memories..

.....

2011-08-21T19:24:00.000-07:00

Paulo Coelho once said if pain must come, may it come quickly. because i have a life to live, and i need to live it in the best possible. if we have to make a choice, make it now. waiting is painful. forgetting is painful. but not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering."

and sometimes you know and life is not the same anymore....

To Err Is Human....To Forgive Divine

2011-06-04T06:49:00.001-07:00

“The stupid neither forgive nor forget;

the naive forgive and forget;

the wise forgive but do not forget.”

~Thomas S. Szasz ~

Well...i do not know if i can forgive anyone...maybe i can. But i can never seem to forget and this is an habit of mine. I will stay as far as i acn from them after knowing the truth. That's just me. I dun intend to run away from anything it's just that i prefer not to repeat my mistakes again and you can call it cautious escape plan. I am no saint, angel or do gooder...but it's just me. I've trained myself to be so after countless encounters with such people. Hmm...why am I that dumb to repeat my mistakes so many times... God knows ! To err is human...i guess i am a normal human then...maybe now i ought to be divine & forgive. I can. i am not cruel. But to forget will be very difficult....

if only....

2011-06-02T06:41:00.001-07:00

Have u ever told someone something precious - (say a secret or smthg close to your heart) only to regret when you find out that person is not the person you thought they were....

what do you do ?

Ever had a constant fear that this person is/has/or might tell others about it. You know how vulnarable we tend to be when we are faced with something heartwrecking...and having this person claiming to be your friend... you pour your heart out...without realizing anythg. My mistake - trust..dun trust anyone easily. i learned it the hardest way possible. Cos u see...only as time passess you will eventually come to know about people... so wait...dun trust someone easily.

What should the solution be ? Shd i just forget it and leave it to God ? Hmm..maybe....I am dumbfounded...blur & worried :(

Better to be known as a sinner than a hypocrite...

2011-05-30T09:26:00.000-07:00

A wise man said that a hypocrite despises those whom he/she deceives, but has no respect for themself. He/She would make a dupe of themself too, if they could. With so many going around i couldn't refrain myself from saying something here (instead of @ the person's face)... Call me coward but i just dun think it's worth it.

I dun get it. How can someone perfectly talk nicely in front of you ...say nice things ...ask this & that ....and behind your back...kabooom....diarrhoea of verbal curses...contrast to the praises uttered. I dunno...i really dunno how they can do it. After knowing their true colour I begun to doubt their sincerity and preferred to stay away from such person.

Many told me...advices indeed ... hey, just pretend nothing happen...act normal...The thing is I can't. Everytime i look at their faces ...the truth slaps right across...giving me wake up calls...making me wonder if their friendship is worth it.

My last resort.. stay away...

Be as you are...

2011-05-19T23:26:00.000-07:00

I got this from a friend...happy reading ;)

Maharshi read out from the tamil version of Yoga Vasishta, the story of Deerga Tapasi who has two sons, Punya and Papa. After the death of the parents the younger one mourned the loss and the elder brother consoled him as follows: "Why do you mourn the loss of our parents? I shall tell you where they are; they are only within ourselves and are ourselves. For the life-current has passed through innumerable incarnations, births and deaths, pleasures and pains etc., just as the water current in a river flows over rocks, pits, sands, elevations and depressions on its way, but still the current is unaffected. Again the pleasures and pains, births and deaths, are like undulations on the surface of seeming water in the mirage of the ego.The only reality is the Self from where the ego appears, and runs through thoughts which manifest themselves as the universe and in which the mothers and fathers, friends and relatives appear and disappear, They are nothing but manifestations of the Self so that one's parents are not outside the Self. So there is no reason to mourn. Learn it, realise it and be happy." The above is also liberation from the face of duality. The path to liberation is also the path to acknowledge and be as you are (as liberated).

"Within ourselves and are ourselves". If everyone acts to this fact, do you think there would be war in this world, apart from other individualisticness?There wont be any. There wont be even single ego rise to discussion, no argument, no selfishness, not even ownership of the worst creation - money!

Credit to : DK http://jupiterflare.blogspot.com/

Change s Inevitable

2011-05-15T09:25:00.000-07:00

In a few weeks time ... my time here will end. It is so unbelieveable that it's goin to be a year already and we would be finishing soon. I was sitting in class and looking at the same batch of people who walked in in the first class. Hmm...i sense changes. Some remain loyal to their friends, some sits with the same person from day one, some who fell in and out of love, some who realized who's true and who's not...and some who became more 'kiasu' than ever.

Change = Inevitable. Everything or everyone is bound for change at some point of time. Good or bad, time decides..self decides. The thing is we have the choices of making those decisions to change. After a year here...what have i learnt ? Plenty - Knowledge. People. Experience. Being in service for 10 years smthg precious i learnt is - in working life u need both knowledge as well as experience. A blend of both will teach and give the answers to many questions along the way of life. Many feel that with degrees, masters or Phd they had enough but trust me...nothing is easy. Experience teaches a man things he never knew. Be humble. Ask. Learn. Don't underestimate anyone. You can never know where the answers are. Humility is the best policy. It will never hurt your ego. So...I quote Gandhi ji... be the change you wish to see...

being moral @ being happy ?

2011-05-10T00:26:00.000-07:00

Today my professor said something that made me thinking - "being moral is not neccessarily being happy ". Of course we were talking about ethics then but it really had me evaluate some things recently i encountered. I can choose to be moral and decisions i made might not make me happy. I was blogging about 'fake friends' we meet along the walk of life...and a dear friend asked "why u choose to be the way you are". My reply - I respect & care for all my friends but... I hate friends who pretend to be nice in front of me and at the same time bad mouth me behind my back. By the way, is that a 'friend' (in the first place) ? People change over time...i get it but try not to hurt others along the way. Be who you want to be... do what you want to do... but make sure it does not break the respect, heart, trust or love others have towards you. Some people are ego, some lie, some hide ... without knowing the truth might get out and it hurt others...especially friends.

When i choose my own path and decide to be silent...i realized i may make my decisions based on my moral obligations...and it can cause my happiness but failing to do so may harm my principle. If they are your true friend, they will never fake. So i guess sir was right ... bbeing moral is not neccessarily being happy ; )

f.a.k.e

2011-05-01T21:23:00.000-07:00

You've got nothing to lose. You don't lose when you lose fake friends...

2011-04-29T07:54:00.000-07:00

Sharing knowledge is not about giving people something, or getting something from them. That is only valid for information sharing. Sharing knowledge occurs when people are genuinely interested in helping one another develop new capacities for action; it is about creating learning processes. We seem to gain wisdom more readily through our failures than through our successes. We always think of failure as the antithesis of success, but it isn't. Success often lies just the other side of failure.

Let us see what you get by hiding all the knowled ge you gain ...shall we ? God is great, remember that.

As for you ppl who call yourselves FRIENDS...but dun even know what it means...here smthg for you :-

False friendship, like the ivy, decays and ruins the walls it embraces...so Stay Away!

e.x.a.m.s

2011-04-16T23:31:00.000-07:00

It's just the exams or the time i don't know...but i see many being selfish during this time. Grow up people. Share your knowledge. U ain't gonna lose anything. Stop being so selfish ! To Basma....thanx a zillion for being an angel !

God Bless ; )

2011-02-23T08:36:00.000-08:00

24.02.1951.... missing you ...pa

:'(

2011-02-23T08:35:00.001-08:00

missing my dad...

2011-02-03T19:36:00.000-08:00

When I was a little girl,

I can still remember our happy moments we shared together.
You're my mentor, you thought me a lot of things in life, moral values,
Respect for elders, things that is useful to our everyday life.
As a Dad, you showed me of the how, the why, and the where,
No matter what has come about; you were always there.

That was September 2004 when I heard the news.
The doctor said you have cancer and there's nothing they could do.
After I heard that, my world starts to shiver.
My heart broke everytime I saw you on the bed
3 weeks later, you've left us all.

That was so painful and the hardest thing to accept,
for a grieving daughter that I am.
Years may come and go,
but your memory will never be erased.
I once knew a man, who gave love at his best,
And no one can ever take your place.

I miss you so much DAD!

2011-01-29T00:41:00.000-08:00

to let go...

2010-12-19T02:56:00.000-08:00

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be.--Anon

Letting go is one of the hardest lessons in life. Recently i had an encounter with a long lost friend. Someone i was not close with but after the meeting we became somewhat close friends. I learned a lot from this friend in the short span time. And... I am still learning. We shared many insights especially on life... and one of the best advice i got was to relax and take life as it comes...

Being thru pain and several downfall in life... i have managed to get up and face everything thrown at me. No matter how hard it was i managed. Maybe with God's grace. The thing is sometimes we get tired of being put to test hoping for it to end. Emotional exhaustion cause such an heartache. You can be as strong as a granite only to realize that your heart is not that strong... yeah, we are not robots for goodness sake.. just an imperfect human being...living a decent life. I am thankful to God for being my side to give me the support i need in the form of my family & some trusted friends...

I just dun get it...why can't any lovers just end a relationship properly without walking out on their partners without an explanation. This happened to several of my friends. All i say to them is..let go..move on...like Dr. Phil said "Does he really even make you happy? Be honest with yourself about the extent to which he's really meeting your needs. Chances are you're longing for the relationship that you wish it could be, and that you want to be in love with the person you wish he was. Dr. Phil reminds a guest: "There are times when you break up with somebody and you start missing them and you start thinking about all the good things. And then you're back with them for about 10 minutes and you go 'Oh yeah! Now I remember why I hate you!'" Don't kid yourself about what it was really like or glorify the past.

Ask yourself: Are you hiding in the relationship so you don't have to face the reality of being on your own? Don't stay with someone because it's comfortable and safe. It may seem more secure, but it's not healthy for you and it certainly won't help you get to a better place. Why would you want to settle and waste your life away just to avoid getting back in the game? This is true...and sadly many of us tend to do it...

Being hurt in love...we are afraid to trust and to love again. It's normal...But then don't hold all men / women responsible for the mistake your ex made. Why should they pay for the sins of someone else who may have wronged you? Learn to trust again — by trusting yourself. Trust is not about how much you trust one person or another to do right or wrong. How much you trust another person is a function of how much you trust yourself to be strong enough to deal with their imperfections." Have enough faith in yourself to be able to put yourself on the line with someone, without any guarantee of what will happen next. If you're playing the game with sweaty palms, it's because you're afraid of what you can or can't do, or dealing with your own imperfections — it's not about the other person.

Don't invest more than you can afford to lose. While it's important to move forward, you need to take things one step at a time. Focus on yourself. Some of us feel comfortable being alone (we have our reasons) and some are strong enough to look for love.. Whatever the decision may be.... 'may the force be with you' (a phrase my friend always text me).

Relax friends ; )

psssttt....dedicated to a certain Prince Caspian ; )

2010-11-19T10:06:00.000-08:00

If a girl ever says "I'm Fine".. hold her and say "You're not.. I love you enough to know you're not fine.".. Don't stand there and watch her kill herself with tears....

Impossible ...

2010-11-15T22:07:00.000-08:00

I remember years ago

Someone told me

I should take

Caution when it comes to love

I did, I did

And you were strong and I was not

My illusion, my mistake

I was careless, I forgot

I did

And now when all is done

There is nothing to say

You have gone and so effortlessly

You have won

You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now

Shout it from the roof tops

Write it on the sky line

All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy

And my heart is broken

All my scars are open

Tell them what I hoped would be

Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard

Falling for betrayal is worst

Broken trust and broken hearts

I know, I know

Thinking all you need is there

Building faith on love and words

Empty promises will wear I know, I know

And now when all is gone

There is nothing to say

And if you're done with embarrassing me

On your own you can go ahead tell them

Shontelle: Impossible

i could really use a wish right now....

2010-11-15T04:13:00.000-08:00

Can we pretend that airplanes

In the night sky

Are like shooting stars

I could really use a wish right now

(wish right now, wish right now)

I could use a dream or a genie or a wish

To go back to a place much simpler than this

There comes a time where you fade to the blackness

And when youre staring at that phone in your lap

And you hoping but them people never call you back

But thats just how the story unfolds

You get another hand soon after you fold

And when your plans unravel

And they sayin what would you wish for

If you had one chance

So airplane airplane sorry I'm late

Im on my way so dont close that gate

If I dont make that then Ill switch my flight

And Ill be right back at it by the end of the night

(B.o.B - Airplanes feat. Hayley Williams)

2010-11-09T22:11:00.000-08:00

Your callin me more than ever now that were done

Two keys back to my place,

we were havin no fun

But your not ok, telling me you miss my face

I remember when you would say you hate my waist

I said im not coming back, its it

You fooled me once but you can’t have that ego turning

Just to bad for you, that when you had me

Didn’t know what to do, shes over you

Cause you had a good girl, good girl, girl

That’s a keeper, k-k-k-k-keeper

You had a good girl, good girl but

Didnt know how to treat her, t-t-t-t-treat her (treat her)

So silly boy get out my face (my face)

Why do you like the way regrets taste?

So silly boy get out my hair my hair(get outta here)

No, I don’t want you no more (get outta here)

Silly boy (silly boy)

Why you acting silly boy?

Silly boy boy (boyboy)

Acting acting silly boy?

You comin with those corny lines

Can’t live without meI’ll get some flowers for the day that you are buried

No, people make mistakes

But I just think your ass is fake

Only thing I want from you, is for you to (stay away)

I said im not coming back, its it

You fooled me once but you can’t have that ego turning

Just to bad for you, that when you had me

Didn’t know what to do, shes over you

b.r.o.k.e.n

2010-10-23T03:01:00.000-07:00

Seems like just yesterday

You were a part of me

I used to stand so tall

I used to be so strong

Your arms around me tight

Everything, it felt so right

Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong

Now I can't breathe

No, I can't sleep

I'm barely hanging on

I told you everything

Opened up and let you in

You made me feel alright

For once in my life

Now all that's left of me

Is what I pretend to be

So together, but so broken up inside

'Cause I can't breathe

No, I can't sleep

I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again

I'm torn into pieces

Can't deny it, can't pretend

Just thought you were the one

Broken up, deep inside

But you won't get to see the tears I cry

Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out

For hating you, I blame myself

Seeing you it kills me now

No, I don't cry on the outside

Anymore...Anymore...

~Kelly C~

Love The Way You Lie...

2010-10-13T22:28:00.000-07:00

I can’t tell you what it really is

I can only tell you what it feels like

And right now there’s a steel knife

In my windpipeI can’t breathe

But I still fight

While I can fight

Just gonna stand there

And watch me burn

But that’s alright

Because I like

The way it hurts

Just gonna stand there

And hear me cry

But that’s alright

Because I love

The way you lie....

~RiRi & Eminem~

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard..

2010-06-30T01:54:00.000-07:00

When people share experiences together, and then they must part, there is a feeling of sadness. Saying goodbye to people that we feel connected to is an occasion of somber reflection. It is hard to imagine our lives without them, and yet we have no choice but to go on. It is comforting to know that for however long you will be separated you will always be in each others hearts. It is also an opportunity to be more present to others in your life and to look for opportunities to form new friendships.

~Silence~

2010-06-15T01:15:00.000-07:00

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY...PA. i MISS U sooo mUCH... :'(

2010-05-27T21:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it is so tiring being alone and taking care of myself...i just wish i could find someone caring enough to take care of me for a change ~ Evanatasha

Sometimes when I’m alone I cry,
Cause I am on my own
The tears I cry are bitter and warm,
They flow with life but take no form
I cry because my heart is torn
I find it difficult to carry on
If I had an ear to confide in
I would cry among my treasured friend
But who do u know who stops that long
To help another carry on
The world moves fast and it would rather pass
Then stop and see what makes me cry
So painful and sad
I Cry And No Ones Cares About Why...

-2paC ShAkuR-

2010-05-27T21:14:00.000-07:00

“God

When I was alone, and had nothing

I asked for a friend to help me bear the pain

No one came, except God

When I needed a breath to rise, from my sleep

No one could help me.. except God

When all I saw was sadness, and I needed answers

No one heard me, except God

So when I'm asked.. who I give my unconditional love to?

I look for no other name, except God”

~Tupac Shakur~

2010-05-19T17:07:00.000-07:00

"Dentro de mí hay una luz, ateniendo por anos de dolor; por los inviernos más fríos y las noches más oscuras, pero todavía esa luz ha logrado ser aun más brillante tras los años; y allí se queda, dentro de mí."

Translation:

"Inside of me there is a light, holding many years of pain; by cold winters and dark nights, but still this light has managed to be brighter after years; and there remains inside of me"

Courtesy of : http://kissedmeintherainbytheruevoltaire.blogspot.com/ (thank you zealousy)

2010-03-13T17:25:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I get so used to wearing a mask and faking a smile that I learnt to endure any pain that came along the way. Sometimes you do take the chance, only to be betrayed, by your own fears...only to lose the one true love of your life. The masks which we wear conceal our pain, I know it seems like I'm this strong person who can get through anything, but inside I'm fragile. I've had so many things thrown at me, and each one has only made a crack. What I'm afraid of is shattering ….I try to laugh about it, cover it all up with lies. I try to laugh about it, hiding the tears in my eyes.

Someone wise said “Don't ever give up on something or someone that you can't go a full day without thinking about. Sometimes being in love can be harder on your heart and soul than being alone. Memories are the treasures that we keep locked deep within the storehouse of our souls, to keep our hearts warm when we are lonely. I've learned that good-byes will always hurt, pictures will never replace having been there, memories good and bad will bring tears, and words can never replace feelings.” It's weird...you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just for one more second...just so it can hurt a little more. A sad thing in life is that sometimes you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let goLove that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest

When all is said and done, you are part of me. That's the way it was meant to be. People are brought together for a reason, everything happens for a reason. I believe the reason that you and me were brought together was because we complete one another. We fill in each other's missing spots with love. And if someday God decides to tear us apart, I trust that there is a reason. Cause if there is a reason for love, there is a reason for life beyond it.

2010-03-07T19:16:00.001-08:00

You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.

nae mam eun a jik do geu ja ri e

2010-03-06T23:49:00.000-08:00

Even if my heart cries,

I can't go with my clumsy self.

When the scent of a lovely flower lingers,

and the birds' song is silenced,

is this all a vanishing dream?

The moon is crying sadly,

The moon is smiling sadly,

Like your two teary eyes,

Like my withering dreams.

The wind is blowing,

the wind blows together

Even when the lovely flowers wilt and becomes stars

My heart is still by your side.

The person who left behind pain

My foolishness bring me to tears

Like yesterday's radiant sun

and your brilliant smile,

is it all just a dream

that's buried in the winter's sorrows?

The moon is crying sadly,

the moon is smiling sadly,

Like your two teary eyes,

Like my withering dreams.

The wind is blowing,

the wind blows together

Even when the lovely flowers wilt and becomes stars

My heart is still by your side.

b.a.t.t.l.e.f.i.e.l.d

2010-03-06T05:25:00.000-08:00

Don't try to explain your mind

I know what's happening here

One minute it's love

And suddenly it's like a battlefield

One word turns into a war

Why is it the smallest things that tear us down?

My world's nothing when you don't

I'm not here without a shield

Can't go back now

Both hands, tied behind my back with nothing

Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again

Why we gotta fall for it nowI never meant to start a war

You know I never wanna hurt you

Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield

A battlefield, a battlefield?

Why does love always feel like a battlefield

A battlefield, a battlefield?

Why does love always feel like

Can't swallow our pride

Neither of us wanna raise that flag

If we can't surrender then we both gonna lose

What we had, oh no

You know I never wanna hurt you

Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield

A battlefield, a battlefield?

Why does love always feel like a battlefield

A battlefield, a battlefield?

I guess you better go and get your armor

We could pretend that we are friends tonight

And in the morning we'll wake up and we'll be alright

'Cause baby, we don't have to fight

And I don't want this love to feel like

A battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield

Why does love always feel like a battlefield

A battlefield, a battlefield

I guess you better go and get your armor

~Jordin Sparks~

Happy ~ Leona Lewis

2009-12-29T21:50:00.000-08:00

Someone once told me

That you have to choose

What you win or lose

You can’t have everything

Don’t you take chances

You might feel the pain

Don’t you love in vain

Cause love wont set you free

I could stand by the side

And watch this life pass me by

So unhappy but safe as could be

So what if it hurts me

So what if I break down

So what if this world just throws me off the edge

My feet run out of ground

I gotta find my place

I wanna hear my sound

Don’t care about other pain in front of me

Cause I’m just tryna be happy, yeah

Just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly

Just can’t let it go

Just tryna play my roll

Slowly disappear, oooh

Well all these tears

They feel like they’re the same

Just different faces, different names

Get me outta here

Well I can stand by the side

And watch this life pass me by

Pass me by

So any turns that i cant see

I'll count a stranger on this road

But don’t say victim

Don’t say anything

Song : Happy

Singer : Leona Lewis

why love at all if it hurts?

2009-12-29T21:20:00.000-08:00

Question—what do you do if you found someone way out of your league, different and one of the few guys you had respect for. Someone you laughed with and looked forward to seeing every day. Someone who gave you gave a chance and let down your guard. Then you tend to tricked yourself into having hope, when you so clearly know you shouldn’t have had any. You freak out. You realize how much it was screwing you up and yet you couldn’t do a thing about it. That thing called LOVE.

Here i am talking about love again. Maybe because I’ve dealt with it in virtually every aspect of my life or because the similarities seem to come up in some way or another. All i know right now is that I am still growing since then.
Trying to let everything go and moving on with life, avoiding any brush with the past, avoiding any encounter that would change the way things were. Believing that it’s time to move on and not get entangled in anything anymore especially love. Then there you were—came out of nowhere, constantly on the mind, it seems, because tiny little things always trigger the memory. Attempts to push it away, instead of dealing with it failed. Anyone can tell what you're feeling. I know things will never be the same between us. Maybe thy should have dealt with it better than I did. But i was also thinking is this God’s way of showing me love exists where you least expect it. I don't know what goes further than here yet i know there is no possible future in it.

What does love mean ? Just a companion or something unexplainable ? Even being in a love, doesn't mean it's wrong to love. Loving is a process like growing up, it progresses. We grow up understanding more and being more arouse with surroundings. As we grow older, love becomes more cliche and takes the form of simply almost anything - from holding hands to kissing to sexual.Love also hurts because it can't always just be love, other things get involved. When you're in love you become vulnerable and you let yourself trust that other person, when you are exposed you are hurt more easily. You are scared to lose what means most to you, and if you do ever lose it you lose a part of yourself with it. Not only that but you are afraid to hurt the ones you love, their pain is yours and when you're the one who has caused it is far worse. Guilt eats you up.

So..again, the choice is always yours to make. To love or not to love. It is hard when you know that there is no future for you with the man you love. But then again...who am i to decide. Fate is not for me to determine but God. As much as it hurts...dun give up if you really love the person. Because the most difficult thing to explain in life is the simplest truth called love.

The Symbol of Love & Devotion

2009-11-11T03:48:00.000-08:00

“I will forever wear this ring as a sign of my commitment and the desire of my heart”

If Mangalsutra (Thaali or Thirumangalyam), 'the sacred marriage-time pendant’ symbolizes a married woman, a ring worn by a man is a visible sign of the vows that he is belong to someone and that someone belongs to him.Ring exchanging ceremony is an important celebration affair and it holds a lot of meaning in the Indian wedding traditions. This is a symbolic acceptance of the relationship between a woman and a man to validate the wedding vow.

According to the ancient Indian epic, Ramayana, it describes a love story between Rama, an ancient King, and Sita, who is abducted by Ravana, the King of Ceylon. The ring of Rama is the most precious evidence for Sita given to Hanuman by Rama and has a great importance in the course of Ramayana. This indicates the ancient Indian custom of exchanging rings in marriage. This is the ring prepared by Sita in her kingdom Mithila and she herself put it on Rama’s finger during their marriage. When Hanuman gives this ring to Sita, she saw Rama in that ring and bathed the ring with her tears, kissed the ring, feeling Rama in it, and entered into higher states of consciousness.Though Hanuman offered to Sita that he could carry Sita over his shoulders and takes her to Rama, however, Sita refuses, “My son, you are a brahmachari and I am pativrata, who has taken the vow not to touch any man other than my Lord, Rama; therefore, I will wait until Sri Rama comes and destroys the demon. Will you kindly convey my heart’s of love that I do not think or dream of any other than Rama”.

This signifies the importance of exchanging rings as a token of love and devotion between the couple. Circle in its nature, the ring has no beginning and no ending, which symbolizes the love between them, will never deteriorate. Traditionally, the rings are made of gold in order to represent a long married life; since it is long-lasting and unaffected by the passage of time, it is considered a suitable material for everyday wear as well as a metaphor for the relationship. It is believed that the ring finger of the hand has a vein leading directly to the heart. Therefore the groom wears the ring on his ring finger of his right hand and the bride wears hers on the ring finger of her left hand in order to form a complete heart. Traditionally, most Malaysian Indian couples emphasize the important of engagement that takes place before the wedding. The families ask the gods for blessings, the groom's family welcomes the bride into the family; rings and garlands are exchanged between the couple to welcome each other into their lives. The groom's family gives a verbal promise of marriage and feeds crystalline sugar to the girl's family to confirm engagement. It also represents a formal agreement to future marriage.

Although memories last a lifetime, photographs are the only true way to look back and reflect on your engagement day. When the bride looks at that photograph in her album she will be thrilled back in time to that intense personal connection of her wedding ring that is slipped on her finger by her beloved fiancé.

MyFoto Studio always looks into the lavish detail plus the vibrant and harmony colors that all together produce a spectacular photo where art and reality coincide.Our experienced professional photographers take each and every engagement assignment close to heart and make effort to capture the anticipatable moments during the ring exchanging ceremony. We believe, by doing so, we will ensure that we are standing in the right place, at the right time to get the right shot.We capture the timeless moments - not just the scene but the love, the happiness and the emotion.

Sincerely,

Deepak K Menon

Playmaker, Attacking Midfielder

MyFoto Studio

111-1, Jalan Sultan Abdul Samad, off Jalan Tun Sambanthan, 50470, Kuala Lumpur, MALAYSIA

*thank you...Mr Deepak for an insightful article...much appreciated !

why....

2009-11-07T01:52:00.000-08:00

Victor M. Garcia Jr. once said love is like the truth, sometimes it prevails, sometimes it hurts.

So...came the question to me...why we love that someone so much even it hurts and why are we willing to love when we know for real that it's gonna crush us into pieces.Why do we invest emotion if we just get hurt in end? For me, because that's what love or relationship is all about. You give and you take or better yet, you give without expecting anything in return. Somehow, it all comes back to you when you least expect it. I'm not a martyr, but i'd rather be the one getting hurt than hurting other people.

In real life - no one is perfect. We have our flaws. Patience, tolerance, understanding = Love. Now people...love is not just about feeling happy to ourselves. It also about giving with all your heart. Symphaty, kindness - that is love too. Making others happy that brings joy into our lives - that is another act of love. Life is not a movie, much to my dismay. You don’t always meet your soul-mate dancing in the rain or on the observation deck of the Empire State Building.Sometimes it’s hard to love someone because you’re so afraid of losing them.

Some people struggle their entire lives with, being in love with someone you cant seem to be with. When you are in the infinite state of infatuation, a feeling no word or emotion could ever come close to describing, you feel as though this life is worth living. And when you lose it, its unreal. Its a pain i cant describe. Every muscle in the body tenses and the heart pounds so hard it feels like it will kill us. The thing you learn the most is that this pain proves that the heart and felt a happiness i may never feel again.You now know from the suffering that the time period in which it did feel this happiness was worth it. It's a feeling you wouldnt trade for anything.

So...you see there is no real conclusion to this, because it's undescribable. I do know, that the pain ...the feeling of hopelessness only shows that you fell in love. And every ounce of faith in you, is devoted to the thought of reliving the happiness. You will always have hope.

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there."

-Bob Marley

I realised that I love you. And you said you love me, and you cannot promise we will be forever but you can promise not to hurt me. I believed you. I still didn't realize how I'd come to love you, how you came to find the key to my heart.Now I know. You didn't find the key. You broke into my heart, and I let you.

Just don't break my heart.

2009-11-05T01:10:00.000-08:00

I love you. It's not a weight you must carry around. I love you. It's not a box that holds you in. I love you. It's not a standard you have to bear. I love you. It's not a sacrifice I make. I love you. It's not a pedestal you are frozen upon. I love you. It's not an expectation of perfection. I love you. It's not my life's whole purpose (or your's). I love you. It's not to make you change. I love you. It's not even to make you love me. I love you. It's as pure and simple as that.

I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.

~Mother Teresa~

t.a.t.t.o.o

2009-11-04T23:56:00.000-08:00

No matter what you say about love

I keep coming back for more

Keep my hand in the fire

Sooner or later,

I'll get what I'm asking for

No matter what you say about life
I learn every time I bleed
That truth is a stranger
Soul is in danger,
I gotta let my spirit be free
To admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I have to move on
And leave you behind

I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize, nothing's broken
No need to worry 'bout everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back at a new direction
I loved you once, needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo

I'm sick of playing all of these games
It's not about taking sides
When I looked in the mirror, didn't deliver
It hurt enough to think that I could Stop, admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I gotta be strong
And leave you behind

If I live every moment
Won't change any moment
Still a part of me and you

I will never regret you
Still the memory of you
Marks everything i do ohhhhh
Just like a tattoo
I'll always have you

~JorDiN SpaRks~

~just~

2009-10-29T21:02:00.000-07:00

Love's really full of inconsistencies

We get hurt yet there are things we miss

It makes us happy but also makes us cry

It's a reason to live yet a reason to die

Sometimes it's true but sometimes full of lies

There's trust but we still ask questions with WHYs

We want to forget but still we remember

We want to close our doors but here comes another

We say we're strong though we feel weak

We say we're fine but hey! we look sick

In every teardrop there comes a smile

Forgetting the heartache even just for a while

Sometimes we dream just to be with the person we love

We oftenly say that they're the only things we have

They serve as the world we consider a paradise

They're making us feel the intimacy not seen by the eyes

Lies and denials, sorrows and pain

Aside from the sweetness underneath the falling rain

Broken hearts, teardrops and shattered dreams

Upon reading between your lies, these are the hidden scenes....

2009-10-13T08:42:00.000-07:00

September...

2009-09-14T21:03:00.000-07:00

It's September. The month. It has been 5 years dad passed. If you ask me if i could finally accept the fact...my answer stays the same. I know he's not here wit us but getting over and accepting the fact is still not something i am capable of doing. I know he'll always be apart of me...but it hurts everytime i think he's gone. It'll be like we went for awhile without seeing each other. Recently we faced another bad news in my family...and with much courage and strength we fought it & overcame all obstacles. With God's blessing...everything is well now. Now..thinking about it...i felt we were blessed.I believe if we have the faith and confident...we can overcome anything - also with the support of our loved ones. Mom - u showed me the meaning of strength. Sis...the epitome of patience and my confidence.

Never Forgotten

Always Loved

I miss you Dad...

2009-09-14T01:48:00.000-07:00

Life is short

Break the rules

forgive quickly

kiss passionately,

love truly laugh constantly

And never stop smiling

no matter how strange life is

Life is not always the party we expected to be

but as long as we are here, we should smile and be grateful

2009-08-24T18:50:00.000-07:00

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in it's bind, but in it's bond.So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours...God doesn't give you the people you want, He gives you the people you NEED. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be.

sad symphony...by e.s.m.e.e d.e.n.t.e.r.s

2009-08-18T19:46:00.000-07:00

Did anybody hear that

There’s a string that just broken my heart

I can feel it and the sound of it tears me apart

Play it again

Cause I ...don't recognize this song anymore

Can you make it sound like it did before?

It's the same old melody

And I cant stand what you do to me

Why you keep strumbling on the strings of my heart

It beats like asymphony

But you stole that away from me

I should've known it right from the start

Oh baby

All I know is

I don't wanna hurt no more

All I know is this song needs a different chorus

Cause theres so many times that

I feel like we’ve been hit before

I stay crying when you walk out the door

I hear a sad, sad symphony

A sad, sad symphony

Its like a sad, sad symphony

I hear a sad, sad symphony

Somebody save me

Cause im surrounded by all of these sounds

Its driving me crazy

Cause you're playing me way too loud

All I hear is noise

Now I cant hear my own voice

Now I, I didn't wanna tell you so

But you're bringing me down

Bringing me down

Its the same old melody

And I cant stand what you do to me

Why you keep strumbling on the strings of my heart

It beats like a symphony

But you stole that away from me

I should've known it right from the start

Oh baby

The song in my head's playing everywhere I go

It's taking the beat from my heart

I wanna hear the outcome

But I guess we're stuck

Cause I already know this part

And it seems we just cant get past the start

~Esmee Denters~

Outta here...

2009-08-16T20:35:00.000-07:00

Get me outta here

‘Cuz my eyes are burning

From these silly tears

That you brought when you show me you don’t really care

And you never loved me, someone get me outta this place

Right now

It’s so amazing

how you have so many faces

And you are not that person I thought

that I had fell so deep in love with

You changed up your makeup your DNA

I can’t recognize you’re a stranger to me

I feel so betrayed what a waste of my heart

Get me outta here

‘Cuz my eyes are burning

From these silly tears

That you brought when you show me you don’t really care

And you never loved me, someone get me outta this place

Right now

My body’s trembling

it’s so damn hard

To pick this feeling,

your heart is so cold and now I’m freezing

Wish you could feel the pain baby I will embrace it

Yeah x 3

1,2,3,4

Right now, right now, right now

Some get me outta this place

Right now, right now, right now

Some get me outta this place

Get me outta here

~Esmee Denters~

* tis Dutch chic rockz !!! Love tis song !

Hush...hush...

2009-08-14T19:30:00.000-07:00

I never needed you to be strong

I never needed you for pointing out my wrongs

I never needed pain,

I never needed strength

My love for you was strong enough you should have known

I never needed you for judgements

I never needed you to question what I spent

I never ask for help,

I take care of myself,

I don’t know why you think you’ve got a hold on me

And it’s a little late for conversations

There isn’t anything for you to say

And my eye’s hurt, hand’s shiver,

So look at me and listen to me because

I don’t want too, stay another minute

I don’t want you, to say a single word

Hush, hush, hush, hush

There is no other way,

I get the final say

because,

I don’t want too,

do this any longer

I don’t want you,

there’s nothing left to say

Hush, hush, hush, hush

I’ve already spoken,

our love is broken

Baby hush, hush

I never needed your corrections

On everything from how I act to what I say

I never needed words

I never needed hurts

I never needed you to be there everyday

I’m sorry for the way I let go

From everything I wanted when you came along

But I’m never beaten, broken not defeated

I know next to you is not where I belong

~Pussycat Dolls~

2009-07-06T00:45:00.000-07:00

What I have with him is worth it.

It is worth every lonely night,
every tear I cry from missing him,
and the pain I feel from not having him close.
It is worth it because he is my one and only.
When I picture myself years from now, I see only him.
No matter how painful distance can be,
not having him in my life would be worse

2009-07-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

If someone comes into your life and becomes a part of you but for
some reasons he couldn't stay, don't cry too much... Just be glad
that your paths crossed and; somehow he made you happy even for a while.

...

2009-05-26T21:56:00.000-07:00

“Waiting is painful. But not knowing what to do is the worse kind of suffering.” ~Paulo Coelho

Hinder – Without You

2009-04-27T17:20:00.000-07:00

I just wanna be alone tonight

I just wanna take a little breather

Cause lately all we do is fight

And every time it cuts me deeper

Cause something’s changed

You’ve been acting so strange

And its taking its toll on me

Its safe to say that

I’m ready to let you leave

Without you,

I live it up a little more everyday

Without you,

I’m seein myself so differently

I didn’t wanna believe it then

But it all worked out in the end

When I watched you walk away

Well I never thought id sayI’m fine

Without you

Called you up cause’ it’s been long enough

And you said that you were so much better

We have done a lot of growing up

We were never meant to be together
Cause something changed, you were acting so strange

And it’s taken its toll on me

It’s safe to say that I’m ready to let you leave

Without youI

I just wanna be alone tonight,

I just wanna take a little breather

* just heard tis song....and the the video...wow..NICE !

“You can erase someone from your mind. Getting them out of your heart is another story"

Flaws & All...

2009-03-18T01:03:00.000-07:00

i first heard Beyonce Knowles render this song on the Ellen DeGeneres Show. It was Ellen's favourite song...and listening to BK singing it with such emotions...and tears flowing her eyes...was beautiful...

I'm a train reck in tha morning
I'm a bitch in tha afternoon
Every now n then when I'm horny
I can be really mean towards you
I'm a puzzle yes in deed
Ever complex in everyway
And all the pieces arent even in the box
And yet, you see the picture clear as day

I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that's why I love you

I neglect you when I'm working
When I need attention I tend to nag
I'm a host of imperfection
And you see past all that
I'm a peasant by some standards
But in your eyes I'm a queen
You see potential in all my flaws
and that's exactly what I need

I don't know why you love me
And that's why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
and that's why I love you

~Beyonce Knowles~

Lucky is a girl who's got such a guy in her life....

2009-03-17T18:49:00.000-07:00

As the seconds pass...

We look back...

Of what our lives have held...

As the minutes pass...

We see what fell through the cracks...

Parts of our lives we withheld...

As the hours pass...

We think of what we learned...

What we have taught...

What we have forgot...

As the days pass...

We wish a lot could be returned...

We wish we would of never fought...

As your life passes...

You stand proud...

You did well... Live on...

to all my friends...

2009-03-13T01:23:00.001-07:00

When the sun shines,

we’ll shine together

Told you I'll be here forever

Said I'll always be a friend

Took an oath I'm stick it out till the end

Now that it's raining more than ever

Know that we'll still have each other

You can stand under my umbrella

Rihana - Umbrella

a quote...

2009-03-11T02:12:00.000-07:00

You fall in love with personality but you live with character.

u can...

2009-03-10T20:16:00.000-07:00

You can either hold yourself up to the unrealistic standards of others,

or ignore them and

concentrate on being happy with yourself as you are

~Jeph Jacques

Moving on, is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard...

2009-03-05T17:08:00.000-08:00

Letting go doesn't mean giving up... it means moving on. It is one of the hardest things a person can do. Starting at birth, we grasp on to anything we can get our hands on, and hold on as if we will cease to exist when we let go. We feel that letting go is giving up, quitting, and that as we all know is cowardly. But as we grow older we are forced to change our way of thinking. We are forced to realize that letting go means accepting things that cannot be. It means maturing and moving on, no matter how hard you have to fight yourself to do so.You are responsible for your life. You can't keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. To be able to move on, one has to learn to forgive not only the person (or people) who have done one wrong but also oneself. Any change, any loss, does not make us victims. Others can shake you, surprise you, disappoint you, but they can't prevent you from acting, from taking the situation you're presented with and moving on. No matter where you are in life, no matter what your situation, you can always do something. You always have a choice and the choice can be power. Like Pat Riley said "courage is not the absence of fear, but simply moving on with dignity despite that fear"

......

2009-03-03T21:39:00.000-08:00

Be just, and fear not.

Let all the ends thou aim'st at be thy country's,

Thy God's and truth's.

~William Shakespeare~

24.02.1951

2009-02-23T16:18:00.000-08:00

Every year,

on your birthday,

I think about how glad I am

that i was born,

how thankful I am

to have had you in my life.

Every year is another year

I miss you ...pa

& I love you very much....

Happy Birthday Pa!

Wise words of Wiesel

2009-02-20T19:25:00.000-08:00

Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing. Peace is our gift to each other. Words can sometimes, in moments of grace, attain the quality of deeds.

~Elizer Wiesel~

when trust is broken

2009-02-17T22:02:00.000-08:00

What ever the relationship... friendship, family, love...it need TRUST. Trust is the foundation of all relationships. Without that security, there is no faith. Without faith, there is no integrity.A bond of trust is something that develops over time. It is a remarkable part of a relationship based on respecting the strengths and weaknesses of others. However, trust is often lost and when that happens the struggle to regain it begins. Broken trust can hurt. When you tend to trust someone who's your friend and they betray you...what do you do ...Hurt & anguished.. When the betrayal is accompanied with bunch of lies...it makes things worst. Trust is assurance in another that allows one to assume discretion and confidentiality in relationships.William James, the great American philosopher and psychologist once wrote that we have the right to believe and trust, to know with certainty that a person or thing will not fail. When it fails..and trust is broken...we are faced with the ultimate question of whether we will trust the person again...only God knows..

Love can be sordid only if you work at it..

2009-02-12T22:16:00.000-08:00

Love is a noble act of self-giving, offering trust, faith, and loyalty. The more you love, the more you lose a part of yourself, yet you don't become less of who you are; you end up being complete with your loved ones. Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.Life is filled with happiness, sadness, tears, smiles, laughter and other emotions but when life gets you down, just be strong about it and keep your head up high and have faith in all things in life. Always remember: God is at your side, always.

I like tis quote :- One day you will ask me which is more important, you or my life? And I will say my life, and you will walk away not knowing that you are my life.

To my mom & sis ,

Your love is a gift that I treasure more with every passing day, As time goes by I find myself discovering more and more reasons to love you. This Valentine's Day, I'm thinking about how wonderful it is to have your love in my life. Thank u for everything. I love you with all my heart. Be blessed ;)

To all the rest out there...may every day be Valentines Day for ya'll ;)

Yes...politics are dirty !

2009-02-05T22:12:00.000-08:00

When you mix people and power, you get politics." - Winston Churchill

The recent happenings in malaysia is frustrating me. It makes me sick watching TV3 news. The ought to get their objective reviewed and realize what media really does. Suck ups ! Gosh...what is happening ? No one is bothered about the nation, the people or it's growth. Every politician is looking after their own periuk nasi. So selfish! There can be no doubt about the dirtiness of our politics.Bottom line is...no matter what the truth of the matter, let us not fool ourselves. People will NEVER believe.

Salju Di Danau Rindu...

2009-01-27T18:51:00.000-08:00

Tak pernah ku kesal

Memilih dirimu

Biarpun pudar kelam masa silam

Bagiku kasih sayang satu anugerah

Tak ternilai olehku

Benarlah katamu hidup penuh pura

Tetapi tidak pada diri ini

Cintaku tulus suci lahir dari hati

Salju di danau rindu

Mengapakah sukar menyakinkan cinta

Yang terbiar layu disirami duka

Sedangkan diriku umpama pengemis

Mengharap kasihmu itu

Izinkanlah aku menyintaimu

Dan sesungguhnya cintaku satu...

~Mamat-Exist~

No reason..i just liked the lyric..and the song...

F.R.I.E.N.D - This is for - (You know who you are..)

2009-01-22T21:24:00.000-08:00

I am writting this about a friend. Someone , in just a short time became so close. It felt like we knew each other for a life time. I have friends but very few of them are guys and the friends i'm close to only very few (whom i share my secrets with.) I'd be there for them. Like Jacques Delille said "Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends". I've learned that there are many good friends around, but true best friends are hard to come by. Being hurt continiously, I am very careful with frienship terms & conditions.

4-5 years we've been friends...i've come to learn a lot abt my friend. I may not be perfect yet my friend accepts me for who i am. I appreciate that. I would also thank my friend for letting me experience some things I've never had the chance to know. I once went out with my friend. Having dinner at BB and walking around BB (KL) was an unforgettable experience for me. For some...it might be something normal...for me it turned out to be cherished moment. I got to see KL at night in the company of a nice friend. I felt safe. Besides that, we share experiences and encounters. I love listening to my friend's stories and sit anxiously waiting for more new stories..We seldom...seldom meet or cal each other ..we sometimes exchage text messages... but i know my friend is there for me. I appreciate my friend and thru this post i wish my friend realize how much our friendship mean to me. Hope we can be friends forever....

This is for you ... THANK YOU !

You may meet a person and instantly know that you will be best friends forever. In some friendships you may feel a sense of equality. There are no rules about how a friendship has to be. All friendships are unique and special in their own way. Each one is valuable. Roads in life are often twisted, Strewn with damaged dreams and hopes. Often, all that is left is empty space, With little direction, few ways to cope. In the darkness, in the silence, Only faint memories of joy are heard. Overrun by difficulties and stresses, We strain to understand a single word. It is in those times, when faith is fading, When no questions of life make sense, The truth of friendship calls our name, Says what seems broken only has dents. Out of the silence, the night so dark, Growing from dim to almost sunlight. We see other faces, they are all around us, Lending their strength to increase our might. Now we're stronger, no longer silent, Our voices are a chorus; hope is on the mend. Blessings abound because we are surrounded, By great men we have the honor to call friend.

Pa...

2009-01-09T00:05:00.000-08:00

If I could write a story
It would be the greatest ever told

Of a kind and loving father

Who had a heart of gold

If could write a million pages

But still be unable to say,

just how Much I love and miss him

Every single day

I will remember all he taught me

I'm hurt but won't be sad

‘coz he'll send me down the answers

And he'll always be my APPA

New year...New Resolution

2009-01-05T22:02:00.000-08:00

The new year is always considered to be a good time to reflect on how you are doing personally and professionally. It'll be a time to answer questions like 'did you accomplish the things you set out to do?" It is a time for looking back to the past, and also a time to look forward to the coming year. It's a time to reflect on the changes we want, or need, to have the motivation to move forward. Many of us choose to make a New Years resolution to improve something about ourselves after reflecting on the past year. For me personally...I'd go with the flow. I'll live one day at a time. Making plans may be beneficial yet we must be prepared to face the unexpected. I learnt this in my life. Life is an everyday education.Like Anatole France said "an education isn't how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It's being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't. All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. So...all i ask now...is..

God, grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

the courage to change the things I can;

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Insight Japan...

2008-12-12T21:12:00.000-08:00

i was in japan and it was my first trip there. i've never been there or had any intention. thanx to my public service department, i was able to go there for a course on leadership and learn about this assiduous nation.

My first encounter or knowledge about Japanese was when i was a small girl. Even then...i barely know who they are but i really loved watching 'Oshin". Oshin is a Japanese serial television drama that follows the life of Shin Tanokura during the Meiji period up to the early 1980s. Shin was called "Oshin", which is Japanese archaic cognomen. Oshin, the heroine, serves as a symbolic figure for perseverance, showing that a person should never give up - even in the most trying times.

Besides Oshin, i was also a fan of other japanese shows like "Shogun", "Maero Attack", "kesatria Baja Hitam" and many more. Don't blame me...for i was a child addicted to tv...hehehehe

As soon as i entered my primary & secondary...i learnt how 'creatively' (or is it cunningly?) Japanese masuk Malaya thru Kota Bharu! All the torture warga Malaya went thru semasa penjajahan Jepun. Hmmm...sampai lah kita dijajah semula oleh British.

Being in Japan...saya tengok bagaimana Jepun bangkit selepas peristiwa hitam pengeboman Hiroshima dan Nagasaki. Mereka hilang segala galanya tetapi berbekalkan kecekalan dan sikap tidak berputus asa, mereka telah berjaya bangkit semula sebagai kuasa ekonomi terulung. Saya dapat memahami motif Tun Mahathir memperkenalkan Dasar Pandang Ke Timur. Namun ...kelebihan Jepun terletak pada budaya serta masyarakat homegenusnya. Amat berbeza dengan budaya Malaysia. Kita boleh belajar dan mengaplikasikan apa yang baik mengikut acuan masyarakat kita...

Beyonce - If I Were a Boy

2008-12-11T22:16:00.000-08:00

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it.
Cause they’d stick up for me.

[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

[Verse]
If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)

[Chorus]
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted (wanted)
Cause he’s taken you for granted (granted)
And everything you had got destroyed

[Vamp1]
It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

[Male]
You know when you act like that
I don’t think you realize how it makes me look
or feel

[Beyonce]
Act like what
Why are you so jealous
It’s not like i’m sleeping with the guy

[Male]
What

[Beyonce]
What

[Male]
I said yo
Why are you so jealous
It aint like I’m sleepin with the girl
[Vamp2]
But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy

i seek for a samurai...

2008-11-23T22:11:00.000-08:00

They say Japan was made by a sword. They say the old gods dipped a coral blade into the ocean, and when they pulled it out four perfect drops fell back into the sea, and those drops became the islands of Japan. I say, Japan was made by a handful of brave men. Warriors, willing to give their lives for what seems to have become a forgotten word: honor.

Japanese...they are an intriguing people. From the moment they wake they devote themselves to the perfection of whatever they pursue. I have never seem such discipline. I am surprised to learn that the word Samurai means, 'to serve'.

What does it mean to be Samurai? To devote yourself utterly to a set of moral principles. To seek a stillness of your mind. And to master the way of the sword.

And so the days of the Samurai had ended. Nations, like men, it is sometimes said, have their own destiny.

Being here...there is some comfort such as the emptyness of the sea. No past, no future. We seek small measure of peace, and only a few of us ever find.I am confronted by the hard truth. The irony in my life was set by me. Everyone is polite. They smile and bow. But beneath their courtesy, i detect a deep reservoir of feeling. They devote in perfection in everything, such discipline.

I'm amazed

Daughtry - What About Now

2008-10-12T19:55:00.000-07:00

My current fav track...by C.D

Shadows fill an empty heart

As love is fading,

From all the things that we are

But are not saying.

Can we see beyond the scars

And make it to the dawn?

Change the colors of the sky.

And open up to

The ways you made me feel alive,

The ways I loved you.

For all the things that never died,

To make it through the night,

Love will find you.

What about now?

What about today?

What if you’re making me all that I was meant to be?

What if our love never went away?

What if it’s lost behind words we could never find?

Baby, before it’s too late,

What about now?
The sun is breaking in your eyes

To start a new day.

This broken heart can still survive

With a touch of your grace.

Shadows fade into the light.

I am by your side,

Where love will find you.

Now that we’re here,

Now that we’ve come this far,

Just hold on.

There is nothing to fear,

For I am right beside you.

For all my life,I am yours.

What about now?

What about today?

What if you’re making me all that I was meant to be?

What if our love never went away?

What if it’s lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it’s too late...

What about now?

"Farewell! thou art too dear for my possessing"

2008-10-10T04:41:00.000-07:00

The hardest part of any friendship is when it is time to say goodbye. As much as we might like things to stay the same, change is an inevitable part of life. There is a secret that only real friends know and it is this. All the mountains and valleys in the world cannot separate friends whose hearts are as one.

The hardest part of any friendship is when it is time to say goodbye,

and even though I wished I could make you stay,

I know I gotta let you spread your wings and fly.

For life is a journey that needs to be travelled

and I am certain you'd make it through,

I just want you to know and never forget

that I will surely miss you.

So follow your heart and never give up,

as dreams and wishes do come true,

for I know that someday we'll meet again,

so never forget I will be praying for you.

Bye.... D :(

Do You Love Your Job?

2008-10-09T01:32:00.000-07:00

Do you love coming to work on Mondays or do you look forward to Fridays ? Well...it can all sum up to one thing...which is how much you love your job..

Here's some tips...How To Love Your Job...

step 01

Find ways of career growth, learning and development. Think of ways you can get a promotion in order to grow within the company. Also ask yourself how you can learn new skills that can contribute to the job you have.

step 02

Find excitement and challenge in what you do. Try to find a new twist on what you do know and/or reinvent yourself. Sometime re-decorating your workspace is all you need

step 03

Find great people. Get to know your colleagues and boss better. Better company makes for a happier work place. If your colleagues or boss do not seem like the type of people you want to be with, get to know your clients. Sometime great clients are reason enough to love your job.

step 04

Find out what makes your boss a good boss. There is a reason why your boss is there in the first place, and you can learn a lot from your boss. If you don’t like what you see, then be your own boss within the company by taking the initiative to start new projects and going above and beyond your duties.

step 05

Have fun on the job, but don’t forget you are there to work.

Source : www.ehow.com

HAVE A NICE DAY AT WORK ;)

the sad september...

2008-09-02T00:24:00.000-07:00

Pa,
I always knew that you loved me
I hope you knew that I always loved you too..

*If you've read my blog...you'll know why September hurts me...

the L word...

2008-08-19T21:52:00.000-07:00

~Love is not about becoming somebody else's perfect person,

it's about finding someone who helps you becoming the best person you can be~

Life is simple, its just not easy...

2008-08-12T22:39:00.000-07:00

I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires,

rather than attempting to satisfy them

~John Stuart Mills~

Take a bow...

2008-07-30T23:00:00.000-07:00

The flowers are all faded now

Along with your letters

They will never see the light of day

Cause I'll never take them out

and there's no turning back

it's for the better baby

I deserve more than empty words and promises

I believed every thing you said

And I gave you the best I had

So take a bow

Cause you've taken everything else

You played the part and like a star

you played it so well

Take a bow

Cause this scene is coming to an end

I gave you love

All you gave me was pretend

So Now

Take a bow

The future's about to change

Before you know it the curtain closes

Take a look around

There's no one in the crowd

I'm throwing away the pain

And you should know that your performance

It made me stronger now

Well it must have been sleight hand

Cause I still can't understand

how I could never see

Just what a fool believed

but the lies they start to show

tell me how it feels to know right now

that I wont be around

so baby

before I put you out

~Leona Lewis~

Pain is inevitable...suffering is optional

2008-07-30T22:07:00.000-07:00

Many of my friends have fallen in love again and again only to grow apart and feel the sadness that love tends to give after it goes away. Love hurts through different ways, you can be in love and with the one you love and still be hurt, or a breakup in a relationship can hurt. It does not take a long time to end a relationship, but it surely takes a lifetime to forget someone you once loved so dearly.

There's a reason i'm writing about this today....it's dedicated to few of my very special friends (u know who u are). One who hides her pain perfectly behind her smiles. It hurt when first love failed but when second failed too...it's unbearable. She loved, she never asked for anything but love in return. She smiled when others got gifts and she didn't, she didn't mind she never had a date, she never had good times yet she stayed by him. Yet...she was hurt when he choose not to appreciate and be the selfish man he is.

Among my friends, she is the best. I personally think any guy who knew her will say the same. She makes them smile. When my girlfrends ask their boyfriends for diamonds, flowers and money...she ask for love and care. Told her to choose her man wise...yet she choose a jerk. Now she's alone, loving it and looking forward to the days of future. She don't mind going back to her empty house and having no one to hold her. I'm proud of her. The strength to overcome her pain...she's working on it..

Anthony Robbins said "the secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you're in control of your life. If you don't, life controls you." Wonderful! You go girl !

2008-07-18T19:21:00.000-07:00

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.If you come to fame not understanding who you are, it will define who you are"

Are Leaders Born or Made ?

2008-07-01T00:08:00.000-07:00

Shakespeare once said: "Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and somehave greatness thrust upon them". Where as Vince Lombardi quoted that leaders aren't born they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work. And that's the price we'll have to pay to achieve that goal, or any goal.

For me personally no one can give leadership to any other person; you cannot be made into a leader by taking a new assignment or moving to a new position. You can be promoted into being a manager, a vice president, a president, or a dean. You can be elected to Congress, or to the governor’s mansion. You can start your own company, and make yourself chairman of the board. But you cannot make yourself a leader by giving or getting a title. Leadership is not about titles, fame, money, power, or position. It’s about followers. A person is a leader because other people follow the example he or she sets. It really is that simple.

Lao Tzu said go to the people, learn from them. Live with them. Start with what they know. Build with what they have. The best of leaders when the job is done, when the task is accomplished, the people will say we have done it ourselves.

But you can develop your leadership skills. there are leaders everywhere. They are all around. In your personal, professional, or academic, most likely others are watching what you do and say and following your example. Odds are you are leading—influencing the actions and attitudes of those around you—and you don’t even know it.You can start to become a more effective leader right now by simply taking responsibility for the leader you already are.

Mahatma Gandhi quoted the future depends on what we do in the present. - . Now...he was a true leader. He led by setting an example how a leader should be. His modesty was the utmost quality i believe any leaders should have.

Happy Birthday To Me

2008-06-25T19:32:00.000-07:00

It's my birthday(on 27th June). A year older, a year wiser (really?). Should i reminisce my life and what's been happening so far ? Well...Ralph Waldo Emerson did say life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood. Very true indeed. Actually i have been looking back quite frequently learning and recovering from mistakes i've made. When it comes to personal development and our lives, the reality is that you can be whoever or whatever you choose to be. If only more of us would believe and act upon this then we would not have the level of apathy and the situation we see in our society. Be grateful for what you have now. As you begin to think about all the things in your life you are grateful for, you will be amazed at the never ending thoughts that come back to you of more things to be grateful for. You have to make a start, and then the law of attraction will receive those grateful thoughts and give you more just like them. Just like Rhonda Byrne said - your life right now is a reflection of your past thoughts. That includes all the great things, and all the things you consider not so great. Since you attract to you what you think about most, it is easy to see what your dominant thoughts have been on every subject of your life, because that is what you have experienced.

So..here's wishing me..Happy Birthday ! May all my best wishes come true. Be Blessed :)

Pssstt...I share birthday with one of my favourite author - Helen Kellar. Yay !

Tribute to my dad...

2008-06-13T19:53:00.000-07:00

Clarence B. Kelland once told "my father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it." It very much reminded me of my father. 15th June 2008 - Father's Day. It's the fourth year we (my sister and I) remember this day without dad by ourside.

Dad...plenty words could be used to describe this man's effect in my life. Reading my blog many knew by now how much his lost affected me. He's been and always will be my HERO besides my mom. Recently i took out old photographs of him and reminisce his life with my sis and mom. It was good i had pictures of him. Until now...deep down in my heart i still think dad is with us. Maybe the reason being i didn't have the proper closure. Like mom, dad has been the strength and guidance in my life. How true dad's words were when he said: all children must look after their own upbringing. Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. Losing him suddenly tore our life apart...and being a close knit it left a hole in my family. I can never thank my dad enough and seek forgiveness for all the things i've done...i can never say how much i love him and miss him...i can never say how much i need him now...it hurts....

Dad, I had to kiss you,

it was a must,

but you were so cold,

thats what let me know it was true,

Dad im so sorry

I couldn't get there in time to say good bye to you.

I knew you were sick but I never expected you to go so fast,

The illness worked so quickly,

you tried so hard, you just couldn't last.

I love you so much and you will always be in my heart,

you see even though you may be gone we will never be apart.

But one last thing I have to say before I go,

Happy Fathers day dad, from me to you!

A beautiful saying...

2008-05-29T18:04:00.000-07:00

"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, (protecting its sanity), covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens.

But, it is never gone."

~Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy~

my mom...

2008-05-15T00:37:00.000-07:00

May is a wonderful month. It's not only a month to celebrate Mother's Day but also a month for my sister and I celebrate our mother's birthday. I've always been closer to dad...maybe for being the eldest in the family but mom taught me a lot in life about LIFE...

I still remember my childhood and how mom (a housewife) run the family with dad's small wage. We stayed in a rural area surrounded by jungle with few neighbours. We had no electricity or water facility. Mom used to pump the "gas light" at 6.30 pm everyday and dad would fetch clean water at a market using his old cycle. We also had a well. At nights we're entertained by the cricket and frogs orchestra. No matter how poor we were...we never felt that. Because my parents showered us with so much LOVE. Thinking back, some would call ours a helluva childhood but i cherish it as the BEST. Eating under the moonlight was one great experience i had.

Mom was a strong women. She stayed home looking after her two children when her hubby works hard for the money. She made sure we had everything even when it means she don't have anything for herself. Mom was great. As i grew...i remember there were several times when i was being a jerk. I was rude to mom and treated her bad. Thank god i realized my mistakes soon and regreted everything I've done. I saw how blessed i was and hated myself for being the bad daughter. Now, i am doing everything i can to make my mom happy. After losing dad to cancer in 2004, my sis helped me in various ways to care for mum as I took over the role of dad. I learned a lot from my sister. She was younger than me but her strength was unbelieveable. Maybe she got it from mom.

Mom taught me of confidence, strength to achive the dream and love. I learned from the BEST. She's a living proof that nobody should use poverty as an excuse to stop living. Watching "Bersamamu" on Tv3...I smiled to myself..we've been in worst situation yet mom managed to make the best memories for us to cherish a lifetime. So...here's to you Amma...

Mom,

there are so many moments

when I wish you knew...

how much you matter to me,

and how much I thank you

for being such a wonderful mother

If there is happiness in my heart,

it's because you helped put it there.

If there is gentleness in my beliefs,

it's because you showed me how to care.

If there is understanding in my thinking,

it's because you shared your wisdom.

If there is a rainbow over my shoulder,

it's because of your outlook and your vision.

If there is a knowledge that I can reach out and

I really can make some dreams come true,

it's because I learned from the best teacher of all.

I learned... from you...

In the times of my life,

whether weare near or far,

please remember Mom,

that there could never be any mother

more wonderful...than the one you are..

Thank You Mom

Happy Mother's Day & Happy Birthday :)

I Love You Very Much

Thank You

2008-05-06T01:06:00.000-07:00

Recently I was involved in arranging a programme for my division. During the time one of the staff came up to me and said "thank you, for arranging this programme. I'm happy to be here". It was a great compliment for me even tough it was merely few words uttered. My boss didn't say anything and i was not the least worried. Many were complaining that the service provided by the particular venue was not up to their satisfaction. Me, on the other hand turn deaf ears to all the criticism and kept making sure everything went well. At the end of the programme, a few came up and said thank you. Well..it felt good to be appreciated.

Saying "Thank You" is not always easy for everybody. Saying it with a smile is the best impression to give for someone who cares about you. When you received a gift ,you will not turn down your head and turn back, then decided to say the words "Thank You". Or saying the words without any facial expressions that what you say is real. Did you notice that some people hates to express gratitude but they are obligated to do it ,just to try to be nice or pretend that they like you or they like what you give and you can clearly see the facial expression to this person. His/her face does not coordinates the words she/he said. Thank you is free and pleasant to hear ,why can't you express it with your heart. Fake thank you are visible to your heart. You can tell the way the words uttered. Sweet thank you is priceless and genuine.Stop pretending to be nice ,be honest rather giving a fake smile. Some people will say,hmmmmm!!! wait a minute, is this gift worth to say "Thank You?" I would say that even if you do not like what you get but giving it to you with hearts are worth than having the things you like and given by a pretender. I rather happy with your gift if you give it to me heartily even if I do not like it. And you give me the gift that I really like the best but the way you give it is not genuine feelings. I go for the emotion when you hand me your gifts than looking of what is it you are giving. I say Thank You with respect and kind hearted.

Thank you ...for reading this :)

~Kahlil Gibran~

2008-03-19T23:50:00.000-07:00

"One day you will ask me which is more important?

My life or yours?

I will say mine and you will walk away not knowing that you are my life."

~Kahlil Gibran~

Moving on with life....

2008-01-23T18:54:00.000-08:00

Letting Go. Releasing. Moving on. These are words that come to mind when holding on to the status quo becomes too painful or takes too much energy. Even when we're ready, it's seldom easy to let go. But when we do, both we and the other person can become the people we were meant to be—loving without feeling we must control or be dependent on the other for our happiness. The healing and release we feel when we're finally able to truly let go can't happen, however, until we allow a shift to occur within us, until we're ready for a new way of looking at things, a perspective that is expressed very well in these lines...

To "let go" does not mean to stop caring. It means I can't do it for someone else.
To "let go" is not to cut myself off. It's the realization that I can't control another.
To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another. It's to make the most of myself.
To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.
To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To "let go" is not to be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.
To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To "let go" is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To "let go" is to fear less and to love more.

A very good indicator of wisdom, positive attitude as well as sound mental health is found in our capacity to let go. Life is a series of choices of how to behave. Often we make these choices automatically, without really being aware of what we are choosing or why. No matter who left who, if you loved him or her, you're hurting. There's no point in denying it and no future in wallowing in it. Letting go is simply making a decision – no longer to allow something from the past to influence your life now or to reduce your inner sense of peace and well-being....

Of Friends and Hypocrites....

2007-12-27T18:39:00.000-08:00

"The difficulty is not so great to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for." - Homer

Someone once told me...hard times teaches us of who can be a real friend and who is a hypocrite. Well...i realized that recently. I know that nobody is perfect. But why is it so difficult for someone to be a good friend. It doesn't require much. Maybe i am being paranoid...but then that's me. I would treat all my friends like family with hope they do the same. Alas...many differ. Some backstab...some pretend...some hypocrite...some deceive. Hmm...but i am also fortunate to find some who is true.And these people i will cherish. I found these friends during hard times cos they stood by me, encouraged me and healed me with words of wisdom. It's amazing how these testing times can help determine our true friends but it does. Well...if not the saying "Friends in need are friends indeed" wouldn't have existed. I can't promise these special people anything but to be there for them...stand by them and help them with what i can. God works in mysterious ways...and this is the lesson i've learned today...

2007-12-10T23:15:00.000-08:00

"True friends are two people who are comfortable sharing silence together."

2007-12-05T00:11:00.000-08:00

Don't cry to me.

If you loved me,

You would be here with me.

You want me,

Come find me.

Make up your mind.

Should I let you fall?

Lose it all?

So maybe you can remember yourself.

Can't keep believing,

We're only deceiving ourselves .

And I'm sick of the lie,

And you're too late.

Couldn't take the blame.

Sick with shame.

Must be exhausting

to lose your own game.

Selfishly hated,

No wonder you're jaded.

You can't play the victim this time,

And you're too late.

You never call me when you're sober.

You only want it cause it's over,

It's over.

How could I have burned paradise?

How could I - you were never mine.

~E~

The truth is always more painful than a lie...

2007-11-25T17:07:00.000-08:00

"We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Why do we lie ? Because lie is a favorable answer when truth is what we don't want to face. Lie always hide whereas truth always reveals and there is no pain for hiding but there certainly is in revealing.We have a greater latitude in fashioning and tailoring our lies, which in turn feed forward into synthetic self-ishness, than we have in being honest and factual. It is most important to be "honest to God."Truth is about actions as well as words. Sometimes we find ourselves stuck in a situation where lie is not an option but need. Example when a relationship fails..and u just need that privacy to be silent for some time. I often read about the celebrities filing for divorce or going separate ways and i can't help but to think...why these matter need to be publisized...an then i come to an understanding that it's a price to be paid when you are famous. Maybe by that they face 'the truth' easier (even when it hurts) and go on with life. For lay people like you and me...sharing the truth may sometime be difficult especially if it is private & confidential....resulting in few white lies that we tell to cover up for a while till we have the guts to open up to others.Is this wrong ? The need to justify our actions shows we care that lying is NOT an option but due to circumstances we're forced to lie till we have the courage to unleash the truth that hurts...

"If you don't tell anyone, you can pretend it never happened, but as soon as you tell, it becomes a reality, and you have to face it."

Tribute to my dad...

2007-06-13T22:14:00.000-07:00

17th of June...Father's Day. Memories of dad linger on my mind. The most excruciating painful experience I've ever had was losing my dad. He's been gone for 3 years now, and it's still very difficult to talk much about his death. His death has affected my life deeply. You see, it was quite unexpected. He was only 51 years-old when he died of brain tumor. Probably losing Dad hurt so much because he was very special to me. Dad's death has caused a void in many lives, but not so much as in the lives of his wife and two children. It has hurt us very much. The most !

It has been the greatest lost in my life but like Mitch Albom said "Death ends a life, not a relationship..." Dad will always have that special place in our heart even it'll never be the same. I dreamt of dad sometimes...as if he is still alive and nothing happened but then ..when i wake up..it's all merely a dream. Friends out there reading this...if you haven't talked to your dad for awhile, you had better get over there, or pick up that telephone, before it's too late. We were always told to believe that after losing someone...the memory will keep us alive. Yet...my heart aches and memories never seem to be enough. I want to hug my dad..i want to talk to him..i want to sleep beside him and mom..i want to be scolded by him... i want to see him smile...i want to see him.. see him in front of me alive...! It's not possible i know... sometimes not even my words can describe the pain in my heart.

Pa, I love you with all my heart, and I miss you so very, very much.....Happy Father's Day!

Six Degrees Of Separation ?

2007-06-06T18:53:00.000-07:00

Six degrees of separation is the theory that anyone on the planet can be connected to any other person on the planet through a chain of acquaintances that has no more than five intermediaries. The theory was first proposed in 1929 by the Hungarian writer Frigyes Karinthy in a short story called "Chains."

We all know it's a small world: Any one of us is only about six acquaintances away from anyone else. Even in the vast confusion of the World Wide Web, on the average, one page is only about 16 to 20 clicks away from any other. We use "structural cues" in our local network of friends. "It's a collective phenomenon. Collectively the network knows how to find people even if no one person does.

Is this a fact or fiction ? You tell me...

Not Ready To Make Nice by Dixie Chicks

2007-04-02T00:49:00.000-07:00

Forgive, sounds good

Forget, I'm not sure I could

They say time heals everything

But I'm still waiting

I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price
And I'll keep paying
I'm not ready to make nice

I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and
I don't have time to go round and round and round

It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should
I know you said
Can't you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don't mind sayin'
It's a sad sad story when a mother will teach her Daughter
that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Sayin' that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting

~DC~

2007-03-06T19:20:00.000-08:00

Friendship, as understood here, is a distinctively personal relationship that is grounded in a concern on the part of each friend for the welfare of the other, for the other's sake, and that involves some degree of intimacy. As such, friendship is undoubtedly central to our lives, in part because the special concern we have for our friends must have a place within a broader set of concerns, including moral concerns, and in part because our friends can help shape who we are as persons. Given this centrality, important questions arise concerning the justification of friendship and, in this context, whether it is permissible to “trade up” when someone new comes along, as well as concerning the possibility of reconciling the demands of friendship with the demands of morality in cases in which the two seem to conflict.

Why i decide talking about this now... is because i encountered a situation where the 'friendship' was sort of destroyed by 'love'. Can't elaborate much on that...but this is what i found somewhere which i'd like to share with you...

For Aristotle, there are three kinds of friendship based on three kinds of affection that unite people. First, in a friendship of utility, the affection is based on the benefit or use the friends derive from the relationship. Each person gets something out of the friendship that is to his advantage, and the mutual benefit of the relationship is what unites the two people.

Second, in a pleasant friendship the basis of affection is the pleasure one gets out of the relationship. One sees the friend as a cause of some pleasure for himself. This friendship is primarily about “having fun together.” The friends may listen to the same music, play the same sport, enjoy the same form of exercise, live in the same dormitory, or like to hang out at the same nightclub. The two people may sincerely care about each other and wish each other well in life, but what unites them as friends is primarily the pleasure or “good times” they experience together.

For Aristotle, the third form of friendship is friendship in the fullest sense. It can be called virtuous friendship because the two friends are united not in self-interest, but in the pursuit of a common goal: “the good life,” the moral life that is found in virtue. The problem with useful and pleasant friendships is that the emphasis is on what I get out of the relationship. However, in the virtuous friendship, the two friends are committed to pursuing something outside themselves, something that goes beyond their selfinterests. And it is this higher good that unites them in friendship. Striving side-by-side toward the good life and encouraging one another in the virtues, the true friend is primarily concerned not with what he gets out of the friendship, but with what is best for his friend and with pursuing the virtuous life with his friend.

So...which is yours ?

2007-01-25T16:23:00.000-08:00

Helen Kellar once said 'relationships are like Rome -- difficult to start out, incredible during the prosperity of the 'golden age', and unbearable during the fall. Then, a new kingdom will come along and the whole process will repeat itself until you come across a kingdom like Egypt... that thrives, and continues to flourish. This kingdom will become your best friend, your soul mate, and your love.

It's true..relationships require time and effort.When things are going badly, couples tend to ask which of them is to blame, or which of them is atfault. 'Blame' and 'fault' are not very helpful words. It's better by far for both partners to acceptthat they have joint responsibility for the relationship and to agree that when they are having problems they should work at them together. Understand that every relationship is different. Don't compare the relationship to anyone else. Not your parent's, not your friend's, not your co worker's, not any other family member's, not that couple's relationship that seems perfect all the time, not anyone's, because that won't help!

Relationships are a two-way street, there should be two people involved. So you could do everything you possibly could do to make it work, but if the other person isn't putting in their very best effort (or at least some effort at all) then it won't work out. You both have to actively participate in the relationship and keep it positive to make it the healthiest and best that it can be. Every couple is different. There is no "right" way to make a relationship work (or a wrong way either). Every couple makes up their own love rules, love habits, love routines, love agreements, etc. Whatever works well for you two, works best for you two.Appreciate yourself and your partner.

~All the best ~

illegal by shakira & santana

2007-01-21T20:16:00.000-08:00

I was listening to this song...and somehow felt like sharing it (the lyrics) with anyone reading this blog...

Who would've thought

That you can hurt me

The way you've done it

So deliberate

So determined

Since you have been gone

I bite my nails for days and hours

And question my own questions on and on

So..

Tell me now,

Tell me now

Why you're so far away?

When I'm still so close

But...

You don't even know the meaning of the words I'm sorry

You said you would love me until you die

And as far as I know You still alive... Baby

You don't even know the meaning of the words I'm sorry

I'm starting to believe

It should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart

I tried so hard

To be attentive

To all you wanted

Always supportive

Always patient

What did I do wrong?

Wondering for days and hours

It's clear, it isn't here

Where you belong?

Anyhow,

Anyhow I wish you both all of best

Hope you get along

~Shakira~